Ants and Tenants

Firstly ants are cool, next tenants SUCK!
now you can get the just of what this rant is going to be about.
Let me paint a picture.
I have this here tenant in my house in Hout Bay.
Just letting aproved him back in September of 2005.
Veggie distributer, biker, just recently divorced, a kid, an asshole…
His deposit an last months rent was handed over, all seemed well, we delivered an impecible house.
I should have kicked him out the first time his rent was late, but being the nice guy I am I nudged him a bit and he paid. In the entire 2.5 years he has been in that house he has paid once on time. Just once. today he has not paid in 2 months and 20 days.
In the contract it stipulates, look after the garden.(the garden does not exist.)
In the contract it stipulated 1 dog only. He came back and pleaded with me to have 2 so I agreed. I did no agree for the place to be a dog breeding business.
In the contract it stipulates no subletting. Yes you guessed it he sublet it, takes the sublet income and does not pay me.
I am told by my lawyers(if anyone knows any cheap lawyers please let me know)
After a brief walk through of the house in March, he has done the following to the house which is in need of repair.
:broken drawers out of the kitchen
:destroyed a birdbath
:managed to rip out 2 steel poled out of the gate.
:dogs have chewed through all electrical boxes
:guest suite room’s roof is black
:Toilet seats are missing
:A newly laid earthcoat floor is ruined from poor care
:carpets are ripped and dirty
:blinds are broken
:hardwood floor is scratched to hell
:tiles in the bathrooms are cracked and broken
:toilet seat is missing

While walking through the house there was dog? feces on the floor.
The lawn I dont think has been mowed since we left
the retaining wall is not maintained and growing wild.
I attempt to send repair people round to get repairs done but they can never get in because he never answers his door or his phone.

There has never been less than 3 dogs on the property.

The Sherif is goign around this week to attache assets for auction. Then 1 month after that he will be forcably removed by the sheriff and some cops.
All the dogs will be taken to SPCA, all the items will be auctioned and hopefully I will get some remedy on this TWAT!

The neighbour has called the cops and noticed drug activity(nigerian drug dealers)
The neighbourhood watch has now been put on alert at the house.

He has conveniently moved his veg business across the road from the house, where he is about to be evicted aswell.
We need ot get this asswipe out of Houtbay and into the slums (or jail) where he belongs.
Perhaps I can lay a claim against Just letting?

My Alpha male instinct tells me to get a base ball bat and the house keys and go show him what marks a round wooden stick can do to people that don’t hunour their contracts but, my lawyers have advised me against that.

It is going to cost me a small fortune to get that house back in to shape, garden, floors, walls, ceilings, bathrooms, kitchens, doors, … .ARRGG the list goes on.

Has anyone experienced anything simalar?
please do share!
*slams laptop lid closed*